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Family and marriage
Many African peoples consider marriage too important a business to entrust it to the young people themselves. That is why matchmakers are often sent to a girl while she is still a baby. She might not see her fiancé until the wedding day. Nevertheless, it is only the elder wife that is chosen by the parents, so the favorite wife of a polygamist is often the junior one whom he chose for himself.
The most difficult issue when handling a marriage is the bridewealth: one begins to pay it off a long time before the wedding, and finishes it long after, it is an affair of the whole extended family. With some ethnic groups, the paying off never stops, and a son-in-law has to make presents to his wife’s parents upon their every visit. It is considered that an n abundant bridewealth fortifies the family: the husband rates his wife highly as he always remembers how much he had to pay for her, and a wife will never launch a divorce out of a trifle, as then her parents will have to reimburse the bridewealth.
There are different kinship concepts in Africa. Some peoples go by their father’s lineage, others relate to the mother’s side. The latter often have their children brought up by the mother’s brother’s family. With most peoples the tradition is that the wife comes to live with her husband’s family, but with some others, it is quite the contrary. In any case, a family includes not only the wives and children of the householder, but also his younger sisters and brothers with their wives and children. One refers to his brother’s children in the same way as to his own children: they are his or her daughters and sons.
The family in Africa is an absolute value. Before a man gets married, he is not considered an adult and will not be invited to a men’s gathering, even if he is forty years old. The more children a woman has, the more respected she is. A childless woman is neglected by her husband, and when she grows old, people would treat her as an evil witch and despise her. That is why it is so difficult to carry out family planning in Africa: who can persuade a woman that she should not strive after raising her social status?
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